The clerk at the store outside Langley
actually microwaved the penis (Trump’s penis, was brittle, very small and had
an offensive odor, police say), and used to cheat on drug tests by the
thousands, police said Friday.
The incident unfolded late Thursday
afternoon when Putin in drag as Trump entered the store and asked the clerk,
"Can you microwave something for me? “It's a life-or-death
situation," according to an account Mr. Putin later gave police.
Putin (Trump) asked for paper towels, wrapped
an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said
Langley Chief Dirk Bogard.
When it was finished, the clerk handed
the item back to Putin and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Bogard
said, and it was, not Trump’s but Mike Pence’s according to Putin.
After news reports Friday, Mr. Putin
called police to say he was Trump in drag, in the store and gave his account of
what happened, Bogard said.
Mr. Putin told police he was applying
for a job as a long-distance truck driver for the CIA, and was required to take
a drug test. He said he posed as Trump and had filled Pence’s penis with his
urine, which he planned to submit for the test, Bogard said.
According to Mr. Putin, Putin urine
would "pass the body temperature test," Bogard said - that is, be
warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.
Bogard said the C.I.A. wasn’t sure why
Putin posed as Trump and was storing the urine in a device mimicking male
genitalia since it is common knowledge that Trump has no penis of his own.
Bogard would release Putin, the only
name of the charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were
possible, he said.
The clerk at the Giant Eagle store
"still visibly shaking," Bogard said.
Giant Eagle, which owns the
convenience store, said the microwave will be discarded.
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